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Lust or love? How do you recognize the difference?


Lust of liefde? Hoe herken je het verschil? - Yonifyer

Love remains a mysterious phenomenon in science. Both love and sex can evoke strong reactions, but sometimes it can be difficult to say what exactly it is about. Sometimes one person feels love, while the other is really just about lust. But rest assured, there is a difference between love and lust. Love is more than just a sexual connection. Fortunately, a method has been discovered to distinguish between lust and love. And we will help you better understand this difference for your relationship with the other person.

The difference between love and lust

Before we delve deeper into how to recognize lust and love, let's first take a moment to understand what these terms actually mean.

What is Lust?

Lust refers to an intense physical attraction to someone else. This mainly revolves around sexual desire and pleasure. Lust can come on quickly and disappear quickly.

What is love?

On the other hand, we have love, which is much more complex than pure lust. Love goes beyond mere physical pleasure and also focuses on emotional connection, mutual support and respect for each other.

According to scientists , romantic love can be divided into three categories : lust, attraction and attachment . Each of these categories has its own hormones involved.

Attraction has its roots in the evolutionary need to reproduce.

Lust is largely determined by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen. These are the hormones that are responsible for our libido, among other things.

Love also involves ' attachment' . Love is about a basic human need to bond with people who matter. The hormone that comes into play here is dopamine , a happiness hormone. Love is about a safe, loving feeling with your partner. Accepting each other and confiding in someone.

Now that you understand what lust and love mean, you may wonder how you can recognize the difference in your relationship. Fortunately, there are several signs you can look out for.

1. Time and Investment: Love takes time and effort.

Building a deep emotional connection takes patience and perseverance. Lust, on the other hand, can arise and disappear quickly without requiring much effort.

2. Depth of conversations:

Love involves deep conversations in which you share your emotions, dreams and fears. If you only have superficial conversations about mundane topics, chances are it's more about lust than love.

3. Desire for each other's happiness:

In a loving relationship, the well-being of the other person is central. You wish each other happiness, even if that means that you sometimes have to give up something yourself. Lust, on the other hand, is often more selfish in nature and is mainly about satisfying one's own desires.

4. Future plans:

If you make future plans together and talk about a shared future, this indicates love. Lust, on the other hand, is usually not concerned with the long term.

5. Intimacy outside the bedroom:

Love is not just about sexual intimacy, but also about emotional connection outside the bedroom. Laughing, crying or simply enjoying each other's company are signs of love.

Signals of lust that you notice yourself

  • Having increased heart rate and breathing when you are around the person you have feelings of lust for.
  • Feeling a tingling sensation in your body , especially near your genitals.
  • Having intense fantasies about sexual encounters with that person.
  • Feeling a strong urge to make physical contact , such as touching, kissing or hugging.
  • Feeling an intense desire to see the person and be with them .
  • Having sexual dreams about the person.
  • Feeling an irresistible urge to flirt and seduce.
  • Feeling increased sexual energy and excitement.
  • Finding excuses to get closer to the person, such as asking for help or advice.
  • Having a strong interest in the person's sexual preferences and desires .
  • An increased sensitivity to the person's personal scent.
  • The desire to perform sexual acts .
  • Finding excuses to touch the person, such as giving a hug or touching the arm.
  • Feeling increased arousal and pleasure during sexual activity with the person.

Signals of love that you notice yourself

  • Having a warm and elated feeling when you think about the person you are in love with.
  • Feeling butterflies in your stomach and a light-headed feeling when you are near the person.
  • Having a desire to spend time with the person and plan activities together.
  • Feeling a strong emotional bond with the person.
  • Having a deep respect and appreciation for the person, including their unique qualities and quirks.
  • Feeling a strong desire to protect and support the person, especially when they are going through a hard time.
  • Having a desire to share your life with the person and plan a future together.
  • Experiencing a feeling of peace and security when you are with the person.
  • Feeling an increased sense of empathy and understanding for the person.
  • Having trust in the person and feeling that they are worthy of your trust.
  • Experiencing a sense of trust in the relationship and a willingness to compromise .
  • Finding comfort and support from the person, even in difficult times.
  • Having a desire to show the person how much they mean to you and make their happiness a priority.

Can lust turn into love?

For sure, lust can definitely turn into love! When we are attracted to someone based on appearance, it can be the first step toward developing feelings of love . As we get to know someone better and spend time with that person, we can develop a deeper emotional connection that goes beyond physical attraction.

What does the body language say about love and lust?

Body language can be a powerful way to convey emotions. Below are some examples of body language associated with love & lust.

The body language of love:

  • Eye contact : When two people are in love, they will often look deep into each other's eyes and not quickly look away.
  • Laughter : Laughter is a sign of fun and happiness. When two people are in love, they will often laugh a lot and enjoy each other's company.
  • Proximity : People who are in love often want to be close to each other. They will point their bodies towards each other and will often seek physical contact.
  • Touch : Physical contact is an important aspect of body language in love. This can range from gentle touches, such as holding hands, to more intense hugs and kisses.

The body language of lust:

  • Eye Contact : When someone is lustful, he or she will often make a lot of eye contact with the person he or she is attracted to. This can even be intense and challenging at times.
  • Physical Presence: People who feel lust want to be close to the person they are attracted to.
  • Touch: Physical contact is also important in body language of lust. This can range from subtle touches, such as touching the arm or leg, to more intense touches such as caressing and kissing.
  • Open posture: People who feel lust will often adopt an open posture to show that they are interested and open to approach.

What can you do with this information?

Now that you know these signals, you can better judge whether your relationship is more about lust or love. It is important to understand that there is no right or wrong answer. Sometimes a relationship starts with lust and grows into love, while with others lust always remains dominant.

Recognizing the difference between lust and love can help you make decisions about your future relationships. If you're looking for a long-lasting, deep connection, it's important to know what you're looking for.

Avoid getting hurt unnecessarily

Recognizing and understanding the signals can help you when you are in doubt about a relationship with a potential (love or bed) partner. This way you can check whether your intentions are on the same page. Do you see a lot of love signals? Go for it! Do you have more loving ideas than the other person and does he show more 'lust' signals? Good to know, keep it in mind - so you don't get hurt unnecessarily.

So the next time you're wondering about your feelings about that person, pay attention to these signs. Is it mostly physical attraction and superficiality? Or is there a deeper emotional connection and mutual support? Only you can decide what is important to you.

Love and lust are not black and white scenarios

Also remember that love and lust are not black and white. There may be gradations between these two extremes. A healthy relationship can contain both passion and emotional connection.

So don't be too hard on yourself if you notice that lust plays a role in your relationship. Ultimately, it's all about you being happy and making the right choices for your life.

Lust or love?

Recognizing the difference can sometimes be difficult, but through awareness and self-reflection you can better navigate the complexities of human relationships. So look for what your heart really desires and follow your feelings. And don't forget to laugh a little every now and then, because love can be quite funny sometimes!

Have you ever confused lust with love? Let us know in the comments.


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